April 2024 PURR

 

Once again the Board of Directors has decided to rebrand the organization to Seattle Cats, Lobsters, and Wolverines. We hope everybody embraces the new changes we have to to bring the the org. Eddie is still doing the paperwork. They took a sick day from work to get it all done but it's worth it. 
 

Meet your

SEA-CLAW board!!!

President

Domino

Voted most likely to text you that they’re running a little late, but they’re at their bus stop now don’t worry. 

 

Vice President

Edgar “Eddie” Allen Pup

Voted most likely to get their name misspelled. 

 

Treasurer

Nova

Voted most likely to reawaken your Daddy issues

 

Secretary 

Sinn

Voted most likely to score a 25/25 on a blind Jelly Belly taste test. 

 

Ambassador

Pup Tye

Voted most likely to have a book in their backpack for 13 months and never open it once. 

 

Also voted this year's “Trade of the Board”. Nobody else bothered to vote besides him, so we’re stuck with that until next year. 

Public relations

Mint

 Voted most likely to make you question your sexuality. You’re not even mad about it bro. 

Marketing

Oshawott

Voted most likely to beat you in arm wrestling. Either arm. 

 

One Love, One Litter~

The 2024 Board of Directors

 

Events

Walkies!

In a show of technological advancement we’ve decided to let ChatGPT plan our next Walkies!

 

Seattle Furry Friends Walkies Event

Join us for a paws-itively delightful stroll through the beautiful city of Seattle, where felines, lobsters, and wolverines come together for a day of furry 

fun!

Date: Saturday, [Insert Date]

Time: 10:00 AM - 1:00 PM

Location: Green Lake Park, Seattle

Event Details:

• Cat Crawl: Bring your fabulous feline friends on a leisurely walk around the picturesque Green Lake. Let them stretch their legs, soak up the sun, and enjoy the company of fellow cat enthusiasts.
• Lobster Lineup: Don your lobster costumes and join us for a quirky parade along the lakeside. Show off your crustacean couture, snap some photos, and make memories to claw-spare!
• Wolverine Wander: Calling all wild wolverines! Embark on a brisk hike along the park's wooded trails. Explore nature, unleash your inner adventurer, and discover the untamed beauty of Seattle's wilderness.

Additional Activities:

• Pet-friendly vendors offering treats, toys, and accessories for your furry companions.
• Costume contest with prizes for the most creative cat, lobsters, and wolverine outfits.
• Photo booth for capturing unforgettable moments with your beloved pets.

Important Notes:

• All pets must be leashed or appropriately contained for the safety of all participants.
• Please clean up after your pets to help keep the park clean and enjoyable for everyone.
• Costumes are encouraged but not required. Come as you are and let your furry friend's personality shine!

Don't miss this unique opportunity to connect with fellow pet lovers and celebrate the diversity of Seattle's animal kingdom. Grab your leashes, claws, and tails – it's time to strut our stuff at the Seattle Furry Friends Walkies Event!

Notice to all members

While the SEA-CLAW board values members' input and creative ideas for future events, we will not be following up our Cherry Blossom Walkies with a Rose Bud Tour.  

Fundraising

 

For this month's fundraiser, we shall be going door to door selling SEA-CLAW cookies. These delicious treats are all baked by our newest resident baker, Sister Poochy von Beaglehausen. These cookies shall include:

Fin Mints

SaBoas 

Stagalongs

Gecko-si-dos

And ShortBreeds 

 

Proceeds from this fundraiser shall go purchasing hundreds of garden gnomes and hiding them around Capitol Hill.

 

LEEP Class

Join us this May for our LEEP class, where Nova leads us in mitigating business structures and processes into Google workspace. 91% of the 3 hours class is the rest of the board trying to remember the passwords they set 2 weeks ago. It would've been faster but Tye’s keyboard was sticky. Again

Events

The SEA-CLAW board is performing a shadow cast version of the Rocky Horror Picture show later this summer. The cast includes:

 

Domino as FrankenFurter

Mint as Janet

Oshawott as Brad

Tye as Rocky

Eddie as RiffRaff

Nova as Doctor Scott

Sinn as Magenta, Columbia, and Meatloaf (Sinn is the only one who can do a speedy costume change and has a French maid outfit)

Dame Judi Dench as the Narrator. 

 

Tickets are $24.69, with no change given. We also accept DogeCoin, Toys R Us gift certificates, and feet pictures. 

 

The SEA-CLAW board would like to make a formal apology for the confusion during last movie night. We intended to show the Oscar winning film starring Michelle Yeoh. Instead we saw the more mature film “Everyone’s Underwear, All At Once.” We talked to the venue about the mix up, and they said what did we expect renting out an entire adult theater for an evening. But we thank everyone who still came. 

Mosh attire

It has come to the board’s attention that community members are unsure what they can and cannot wear during the moshes. We have temporarily instated the following dress codes for on the mat activities

 

• 'Little House on the Prairie' style dresses
• Glasgow Oompa Loompa cosplay
• Collegiate wrestling singlets from 1977-1982 & 1984-1993
• Anything wore on Paw Patrol
• Jean Grey Outfits. Not from the movies. The cartoons or comics only. You know the good stuff. 
• Santa Clause outfits 
• Anything worn by Jinkx Monsoon
• Barney the Friendly Dinosaur outfits 
• Neon green morph suits 
• Torn, deshelveld wedding dresses that you wore to stalk your ex in and make them repent for their past sins. Veil optional. 
• Discontinued Joe Exotic brand thongs. 
• Minions style overalls (yellow body paint is discouraged. We learned our lesson last time)
• Softball uniforms with sexually suggestive mascots
• Starbucks barista aprons
• The Sanderson Sisters dresses from Hocus Pocus
• 1880s style swimwear 

 

Merchandise

Want to send a package to your friend quickly, but don’t have stamps? SEA-PAH and the Merchandise Committee are proud to announce the official SEA-PAH trebuchets. Perfect for the pup who has everything, or needs resources to take over the nearest 15th century castle. Order the XL model to get you across the Puget sound more reliably than the Washington State Ferries. 

 

Signed copies of “Memoirs of an Isosceles Cantaloupe” by Ærœÿl Blambetsnåck are still available for purchase. Please buy them, he keeps calling to ask how many are left. Mint had to change their phone number 3 separate times and Blambetsnåck still keeps calling them. 

 

Calendar of events

Yeah you’d like that wouldn’t you. 

 

Committee meetings 

Total top committee: canceled due to lack of members (3 is the minimum required)

 

Fans of overly specific The Simpsons references: 742 Evergreen Terrace, on the 13th hour of the 13th day of the 13th month. 

 

Committee of anxious people: Can I call you? Sometime later though, I’ll text you when I’m free. Don’t worry, you’re not in that much trouble. We just need to have a talk. 

 

April Fools! The real HOWL will come shortly.

Oshawott gave me permission to make an arm joke.